ArcticOwl

rants and musings from an everyday doorknob

Old blogger posts – part 1

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Perfect

You have just finished watching television for the night. Reluctant to get out of your comfortable position on the couch, you turn your head and your eyes fall on him. Although it is late, he is still busy at work at his drawing desk in the middle of the room. A large, fresh, blank piece of paper lies before him, waiting for the artist to create magic. He’s in that gray tshirt that you love, and those pj bottoms you bought for him a long time ago, back in the days when you two just started dating. His hair is dishevelled, his face twisted in that endearing look of pure concentration. His hands begin to quickly move across that sheet, quickly drawing the image that has been born. The only lighting in the room is that old desk lamp, its glow softly falling on his features. And you just sit there, content, and watching him.

I would like to marry an architect :)

Baby that’s just me
I like to treat people in a way that runs opposite to what they’re used to. The fact that they’re so accustomed to being responded to in a certain way, and the fact that they feel entitled to that particular kind of treatment, repels me. I’m not going to play their game. If you want me to be nice, you have to earn it. I don’t care how much of a pretty person you are. I don’t care how charming you can be. I certainly don’t care for that drop dead gorgeous smile that may work wonders for anyone on the receiving end besides me.

You’re not special. No one is special. Therefore I’m going to treat you as if you are on my level, because that’s exactly where you are: on my level.

No one has the right to ever make anyone feel like they’re not good enough. You pull that on me, and I can assure you, I will crush that ego of yours with the turn of my heel, and I will make it crystal clear that although you managed to play with my insecurity for that split second, I will play with your insignificance for years.

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Somewhere along the way, I stopped believing in the permanence of a person, object, relationship, mere thing. Instead of forever, everything became temporary. Life was divided into periods, phases, passing sections. Nothing ever stuck around long enough for you to actually depend on it. After a while, it didn’t even bother me anymore. I became content with the way things were, no matter how brief that state was, and as soon as things changed, I adjusted along with it. People leave. Relationships end. Things break. And it all happens for a reason.

Now I wonder what it would be like to go back to being five years old, and thinking that there is such a thing as always.

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Written by morethanhalfofmyheart

January 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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